Why Protecting your Happy Habits is Key to Creating Positive Postpartum Routines
Life with a newborn can feel chaotic, but maintaining a few comforting routines can provide a real sense of stability. Establishing "happy habits" can help new parents maintain their well-being during the postpartum period. These habits provide a foundation for a joyful postpartum experience, ensuring that you don't lose yourself in the whirlwind of caring for your baby.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was so all-in on the idea of baby care that I was ready to sacrifice anything it took to be the most attentive, loving parent I could be. At the time, it seemed obvious that the best parents put the baby first and selflessly put themselves last. I did this for many weeks with pride. I struggled through the newborn stage but followed advice to practice "self-care" grudgingly.
It wasn't until I was pregnant with my second baby and meeting regularly with a counselor that I truly understood and accepted that this was not a healthy way to approach parenting.
It took several months, but eventually, I agreed that I was allowed to prioritize the small things that made me feel calm, competent, and in control. This realization led to more honest communication with my husband (I could ask for guilt-free daily showers? Yes please!) and a more balanced approach to baby care and self-care.
What Constitutes a 'Happy Habit'
Let's first clarify what we're talking about when we say "happy habit." A happy habit is a simple, comforting activity that brings you joy and helps you feel grounded. These habits should be familiar, comfortable, and easy to incorporate into your daily life. They are not new or complicated routines but rather small actions that provide a sense of normalcy and comfort to you.
Examples of Simple, Comforting Habits
Morning Showers or Evening Baths: A quick shower can be a refreshing start to your day or a calming end to it.
Time for Meditation, Journaling, or Prayer: These activities can help you center yourself and reflect on your experiences.
Enjoying a Cup of Coffee in a Favorite Chair: Taking a moment to savor your favorite beverage can provide a small but meaningful break.
Taking a Walk Outside with a Pet: Fresh air and gentle exercise can boost your mood and energy levels.
Quick Kitchen Resets at the End of the Day: Tidying up the kitchen can give you a sense of accomplishment and a clean slate for the next day.
Tips for Evaluating and Maintaining Your Happy Habits
Reflect on your current routines and identify which habits make you feel grounded and safe. Think about the activities that are most important, comforting, and easiest to maintain. These are your happy habits. Make it a priority to carry these habits into the postpartum period with the help of your partner.
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For example, during my second pregnancy, I told my husband how important it was for me to have breakfast and a cup of coffee within the first hour of waking. Otherwise, I get a bit hangry, and I know this because it was not a priority for my first pregnancy.
This small change made a significant difference in my overall mood and energy levels throughout the day. It also became an easy way for my husband to look after me, seamlessly becoming part of his morning routine while he was off work when the baby was tiny.
Choose Your Happy Habits: Reflect on your current routines and identify which habits make you feel grounded and safe.
Prioritize and Schedule: Physically schedule these habits into your day or set reminders. Imagine how to work them in between baby care.
Communicate and Get Buy-In: Tell your partner and other caregivers about the importance of these activities and enlist their support to protect these times.
Adapting Habits to Fit Your New Lifestyle with a Newborn
Be Flexible and Adjust Expectations: Of course, you’ll need to experiment to see how your routines may need to be adjusted based on your baby's needs and your new schedule. Then, once you see how your happy habits interact with the reality of life with your newborn, do a quick evaluation to see if things need to shift just a bit to maintain your habits smoothly.
Involve Your Partner or Support System: Share your needs with your partner or support network and ask for their help in maintaining your happy habits. Ask them if there’s anything you can do to help protect key routines that help them feel steady and control.
Recognize That Some Days Will Be Easier Than Others: Celebrate the days when you find balance and everything flows smoothly. On days when things don't go as planned, be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that it's okay.
Benefits of Happy Habits for Mental Health
How Small Routines Can Reduce Stress and Enhance Mood
Maintaining familiar routines can provide a sense of control and predictability, which is especially important during the unpredictable postpartum period. Studies have shown that comfortable and consistent routines can reduce stress, improve your mood, and enhance your overall mental well-being.
Real-life examples from other new parents highlight how maintaining happy habits helped them navigate the challenges of early parenthood with greater ease and confidence. And if you feel like routines are restrictive and prefer less structure, remember that this isn't about becoming a morning person or making lists every day. It's about finding comfort in a daily rhythm that feels good to you, whatever that might look like.
Impact on Overall Family Dynamics
Creating a calm and stable environment for your baby can have positive effects on the entire family. Shared predictable routines strengthen family bonds and enhance the emotional resilience of parents because everyone feels like they are working as a team and are able to take time to look after themselves too.
It’s all too easy to forego your own well-being during the demanding baby years, so maybe approach this season as the practice years. Establish your happy habits and fight to keep up with them as an example for your child so that they too will feel encouraged and safe to prioritize their needs as they grow. By prioritizing your well-being, you set a positive example for your family and contribute to a more harmonious household.
Self-care isn’t Selfish
Maintaining happy habits during the postpartum period is crucial for your well-being. By evaluating and preserving these routines into the postpartum period, you create a sense of stability and comfort amidst the challenges of new parenthood. Take time to reflect on your current habits, communicate your needs with your partner, and be flexible in adapting your routines.
Happy habits provide a foundation for a joyful postpartum experience, helping you maintain your identity as a person who is more than a parent and contributing to a more positive postpartum experience. Remember, your well-being is just as important as your baby’s, and maintaining your happy habits is a vital part of your self-care.
Next Steps:
This post draws heavily from one of my lessons in the Prepping for Parenthood course. If you love this content, I encourage you to explore the course for more in-depth information and support.
The Prepping for Parenthood Course:
Comprehensive Modules: The course offers detailed modules covering all aspects of the postpartum period, including physical recovery, emotional support, and newborn care. Whether you're preparing for a surgical birth or a vaginal birth, the course provides valuable information to help you manage your recovery and adjust to life with a newborn.
Expert Guidance: Learn from me, a certified and experienced postpartum doula, about topics like postpartum preparation, newborn care, lactation, and safe infant sleep. My goal is to provide you with the knowledge and confidence you need to navigate this new phase of life.
Flexible Learning: Access the course materials at your own pace, allowing you to revisit important topics as needed. This flexibility ensures that you can fit the course into your busy schedule as a new parent.
By enrolling in Prepping for Parenthood, you'll gain access to a wealth of knowledge and support that can make a significant difference in your postpartum experience.
Share Your Story!
I want to hear from you! Your experiences and insights are valuable, not only to me but also to other new parents who may be reading this post. Here are some ways to engage and connect:
Leave a comment below: What are your favorite happy habits, and how do you maintain them during the postpartum period?
Or send me a DM on Instagram to share your must-have routines. Your stories can provide support and comfort to others going through similar experiences ❤️
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Patricia is a steady companion through the transformative journey of new parenthood. With a rich background that weaves through global travels, teaching experiences, and the personal journey of parenting, Patricia brings a unique blend of empathy, understanding, and support to her role as a virtual doula. Her approach is deeply rooted in the belief that every new parent's experience is unique, deserving of personalized guidance and support.
Through her personalized and compassionate postpartum support, Patricia is changing how families experience the Fourth Trimester. She offers both a listening ear and a guiding voice, helping new parents navigate the early stages of parenthood with calm and assurance.
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